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Sunday, March 1, 2009

If Conservatism Could Speak...

Mike Church asked me to prepare a talk for his national radio program. He asked me to give the speech that I would have given had I been invited to speak at CPAC on the state of conservatism in America today. My initial reaction was: Who cares what I have to say about the state of American conservatism?

I wondered, instead, what Conservatism (incarnated as a principle or an ideal) would want to say to the members of CPAC. Here is the result of my thought experiment:

Something beautiful, sad, unexpected, and miraculous happened today at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). Conservatism appeared at the meeting and spoke for nearly ten minutes.

Dressed in a brilliant white gown, Conservatism blinded all of the conference attendees, panel members, celebrities, and speakers when she appeared at the main entrance in a flash of light. Conservatism made her entry right at the end of a heated panel discussion: Bipartisanship ... Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

Many CPAC members fell to their knees and begged forgiveness as Conservatism made her way to the podium. "Compassionate Conservatives" were turned into pillars of salt as she walked through the crowd. Religious bigots, who last year had made theological nitpicking the center of the presidential campaign, were struck deaf and dumb.

Conservatism stood at the podium, lifted her shining arms, and the entire building shook. This is what she said...

Source: Hillbilly White Trash (read it all)  [Audio Version]


I would add that at least half of those in attendance at CPAC, three-quarters of the bloggers and seven-eighths of "conservative" media outlets would be turned to pillars of salt were conservatism to speak at CPAC with the words "Conservative Principles" frozen on their lips, but never present in their hearts.